I know I don't keep up with the crazy things Blaze says but here are just a few over the last couple of days that I just can't pass up sharing. Please know that I cannot possibly write it as real and as funny as it comes across but just think of Blaze as you read this.
Scenario #1: Blaze is wrestling for the first time this season, he loves it and pretty much makes every kid cry. He calls me the other day after his latest win and says....
"Mom, I was just wrestlin' and then the kid started crying and I was like...what? why is he crying?....Why do I make every kid cry? I'm just wrestling..." Note that he says it with this total tuff kid attitude like he doesn't get what everybody's problem is.
He then says to me.... "I wish I could like, punch and kick and smash 'em to the ground and stuff" Please tell me this kid does not want to become an Ultimate Fighter.
Scenario #2: Blaze always invades my space while changing in the closet and I pretty much have given up all my privacy in this house of boys. They will obviously learn young. Anyway... Blaze loves to tell me how big my butt is and how jiggly my cheeks are and how my stomach sticks out farther than my chest does.... It's the best. Not only does he tell me - he has to poke me and jiggle me and shake what shakes so that it is self explanatory. He is very critical of how I look, how I dress and more specifically how I walk. He critiques how I walk and will show me what it is I am doing wrong while walking down the hall. Not sure this is a good thing. He tells me when my underwear is showing or when I bend over and he can see down my shirt. What do I do? I hope it ends with me and he doesn't even get started with girls he will end up dating. I must warn him now......!!!
Scenario #3: This is my ultimate favorite....
So the boys are getting ready for bed and Blaze asks his Dad in the most serious of voices. "Dad, what level of clippers do you use to get your hair like that?".... Canon and I totally bust up laughing. In all seriousness he asks again, "I mean, like, what makes you want to cut your hair like that, why can't you just cut it like mine and Canon's?".... Again, laughing hysterically. Darren tries to explain that he doesn't choose that for himself but it turns into - he uses a razor to shave in the reseeding look. Blazes questions why on earth he would think that looks good but lets it go. I cannot breath at this point. Blaze declares that he will never do his hair like that when he is a dad and maybe only when he chooses to do the mohawk again.
Scenario #4: Boys and farting..... I don't get it. I don't like it. I don't let them do it in my presence = if I can help it. Anyway - we are getting ready for bed and the boys start making farting noises with their mouths. Darren and Pierson included. He now is among those that finds it funny to make farting noises - UGH!!! So Darren asks to hear mine and so classically - I bust out a hand/armpit fart noise. Darren had no idea I was capable and the boys were stunned. "TEACH ME MOM, TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT"... Oh no - what have I done. I don't think I really ever wanted them to know that I could do that. Oh well. Anyway - by the end of the night I was laughing so bad I was crying. It took us an hour to calm down. I truly love having boys - it is the greatest!
2 comments:
Oh my hilarious, I love that kid!
They are so lucky to have you as their Mom. I mean, I already knew that you were the world's best chocolate chip cookie maker AND best Mom in the world to dress up on Halloween (etc, etc) but the arm pit farting? Really, Tami! You're a Mom of many talents. No wonder they all idolize you :) These installments on what your boys say are the best. Keep them coming!
Ha! Ha! I needed a good laugh!
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